Saying Goodbye To My 9-5

Day 1 of being self employed. It’s quite surreal not having to work or answer to a slew of emails on this beautiful Monday morning. Weeks before today, I took time to design my schedule. I asked myself “what do I want my week to look like?” As I meditated and really looked at what that meant for me, I was able to literally design my life from scratch. No alarm, morning walks, time for yoga, toddler snuggles and activities and of course, time for passion projects. My new “work” life hardly looks like work at all. I’ve got a huge smile on my face, shoulders with no weight and an agenda I actually WANT to fulfill. 

I dreamed of this day when my son was born. A year and a half ago, I couldn't fully enjoy my maternity leave because I knew I would have to turn him over and trade my time for money. I was terrified of what would happen if I left, but also terrified of what would happen if I stayed. I remember holding my 11 week old son at 4 in the morning of the day I went back to work. I was sobbing uncontrollably and as I rocked him back and forth I made him promises from the bottom of my heart that my mind wasn't sure how to keep. You see, deep down inside, I knew that I knew I couldn’t continue working my corporate job, no matter how financially comfortable it was. But I also knew that making my own way (again) wasn't going to be a walk in the park.

I searched on blogs for other moms opinions on the subject only to find most all of them would say “it’s just the way it is, it gets easier with time” - huh? Just like that? Are we giving up that fast? I accepted that reality for a while, only to find out that no. It doesn't get easier. In fact, the voice inside that says “what are you doing here?” was only getting louder and louder. 

So- here I am! I did it! Was it easy? Heck no. Did it take a lot of planing, soul searching and figuring out? More than you know.  I've been procrastinating my freedom for a while wondering: what if it doesn't work out? What if I fail my family? What if my passion doesn't produce any money? What if, what if, what it...  There's so much in the unknown that most of us dare not take a peak. I for one had enough of wondering. I can't pinpoint one thing or another that finally made me pull the plug.  But I do know that had I not been fully supported by empowered people, reading material and my faith - I definitely wouldn't be writing this today. I would've continued to go into the office day after day, week after week, month after month... like many others I see. When does it end? When do we say enough?

If you find yourself in a similar situation, A good place I recommend to start is reading The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. This book will help you make an important distinction: your zone of excellence and zone of genius. Then, read Essentialism by Greg McKeown to identify where you can start maximizing your God given talents and say NO to a lot of good things so you can say YES to the few great things. Finally, raise the bar on your faith by reading Break Out! by Joel Osteen. 

The aforementioned are simple steps to get you started. Once you choose to follow your calling don't. look. back. Know that fear is normal and getting into action is key. Also, surround yourself with people that believe in you, more than you do. They'll help you dig out that potential that's been hidden for too long.

I can't fully express the joy I feel. I am so so happy. It's time to rejoice and fulfill that which has been place in my heart.

Here's to following dreams and crushing goals. 

In health and love, d. 

You Only Have 11 Months, Not 12

What if I told you, you're short changing yourself from living a full calendar year? That's right, instead of 12 months, you really only have 11. For most of us, this is a scary truth. #LaCrudaRealidad

I've been doing quite a bit of personal development lately, and in reading The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy, I found myself in utter shock at uncovering several time wasters I didn't even know I had. The biggest time suck? Spending too much time on social media. 

Now, before I go further let me clarify that I am a social media specialist in my current position. The mind-numbing activity I refer to falls completely outside of my day-to-day work. 

Let's say, for the sake of this post, your time spent on social media - (posting, commenting, sharing or silently stalking)- goes something like this: 

30 min in the morning 

30 min in the afternoon

30 min in the evening 

30 min before going to bed

This is equivalent to 2 hours out of your 24. No biggie, right? Now look take a look at this: 

In just one week, those 2 little hours have turned into 14, and in one year, those 14 spiral into seven hundred and twenty eight hours - the equivalent of 30 days!!  Let that sink in for a second. 

That means, if you find yourself with a similar schedule - you are literally living 11 months out of 12. I think its safe to say 2 hours a day on social media is quite conservative for the masses. Now think of the other time wasters in your life; sitcoms, extra naps, netflix binging, worrying, regretting, deciding and not DOING... 

Is wasting a whole month out of your life worth it? Ask yourself the next time you reach for your phone or complain to someone "there aren't enough hours in a day". #guilty

Since becoming aware of this, I've made it a strong point to spend as little time on social media as possible. It's crazy how I catch myself (without even thinking) reaching for my phone to check email, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest...  the first time I became aware, I did this like clock-work, every 15 min in one hour!! I was sick to my stomach to realized this. 

It's been one whole week since I nipped this awful habit in the bud, and am happy to report, I have successfully created a new, healthier habit; I now only spend 15 minutes in the morning (after my morning routine, not as soon as I wake up), 15 minutes mid-day, and 15 minutes in the evening (not while in bed). It's more than enough time to "catch up" on things and people that are important to me, without neglecting things that really deserve my undivided attention.

45 min a day still comes out to 11 days out of the year that I'm wasting. And yea, you could argue that knowing what family and friends are up to isn't too bad of a habit -- but often we find ourselves in a tailspin of gossip, news, "10 tips for_________" whatever you want, vines, clips, etc, etc, etc, Or worse, deliberately ignoring those we love. How many times have you gone to a park/restaurant/bar/cafe and found most everyone with their nose in their smartphones? Are you one of these people? Next time you go somewhere, try forgetting your phone. 

I challenge you to check your mind numbing activities and redirect that energy to things that really matter, like your goals, family or self development.

And on that note, I'm out ((throws peace sign)) 

xxo Dais

The Decision to Drink The Juice

10/1/15 Update: I now drink doTERRA juice

Earlier this year, I made the decision to become an entrepreneur for the second time (like I didn't learn my lesson the first time, right?) lol. Definitely venturing off into uncharted waters and pushing my comfort zone to the limit. But again, I've made a decision to make this work, so there is no turning back.

I was introduced to a network marketing company by the name of Arbonne 4 years ago. I was running my own marketing business at the time, and met this lovely woman at a networking event I was hosting. She asked me out to lunch so we could learn more about each other and I agreed. 

While at lunch I quickly realized I was being pitched to. I was a little upset and felt misguided because (I thought) this wasn't a "real" business, and now - I was an hour behind on my "real" work. At the end of her presentation, she asked if I was interested in joining her team. I couldn't possibly tell her how I really felt about the business, however, I did love the product mantra and what they stood by. I politely declined, but I did agree to introduce her to people in my network and even host a party for her. I'm grateful my introductions lead Arbonne to be the leading sponsor of Latino Fashion Week in the year that followed.  

At that point in time, network marketing was a joke to me. I mean, (insert snooty voice) I went to college! I had a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Advertising and Communications. There's no way I was going to be peddling products, no matter how 'green' they were. I'm not a sales person. Besides, a few close friends and family had already given this kind of business a shot and had nothing to show for it. This doesn't work. I was often (aggressively) asked to join other skin care companies from strangers on the street, and worst of all - my parents were talked into refinancing their home, all for the sake of someone's commission -when they had no business doing so. I wasn't going to be THAT person. 

So what the heck happened? Why did I drink the juice? Well, it was a combination of things that lead me to that defining moment.

First, while I didn't join Arbonne that one day over lunch, I did begin a friendship with that lovely woman. Beneen was never pushy, always respectful, kind, understanding and genuine. Completely different from any other network marketer I met before. As we kept in touch over the years, I realized - this really is a business and it really does work. She was the only living proof I had that you actually can make it, you can win trips, you can be successful! While I was working long and tiring days, she was enjoying them at the luxury of her own schedule. I secretly envied that...but it would still take  some time and convincing before I could pour me a glass. 

Second reason. The birth of my son. All the clichés are true; once you have a baby - your entire world changes. Your priorities change. Your heart quadruples in size and everything you do, every decision you make - is with them in mind. I went back to work after an 11 week maternity leave, not because I wanted to - but because my FMLA was coming to an end. It was one of the toughest things I had to do; handing my son over to the arms of a stranger gave me so much anxiety. I lost sleep and cried for days leading up to that moment. And it didn't help that the first day of daycare was a complete and utter disaster due to neglect. (Which I can't even get into right now without my blood pressure rising). My maternal instincts were on high alert and I just couldn't bare to miss out on so much. 

I tried to find comfort by reading articles and blogs on moms that go back to work after baby. But the only encouragement I found was "it gets easier with time". I just couldn't accept this as a final answer.  I had to find a better way.

Just 4 years after I gave Beneen a hard "no", I found myself having lunch with her again, only this time, with my baby in tow, scrambling for ideas that would grant me time and financial freedom. By now, I was making a 3 hour commute (a day) just so I could rest assured my son was in good hands. I had very little sleep (aside from tending to his needs) and was completely passionless in my corporate position. My career became a job overnight. My only passion, was, is, my son.

I don't believe in having regrets. Life is much too short to dwell on the past. However, I'll be the first to admit that I am ashamed of my behavior, mindset and immaturity back then. In these past four years- I wish I had been more open minded about such an incredible opportunity. One that will allow me to enjoy my son, family and personal and financial freedom as I wish. As before, many things aligned for me in order to take that leap, and I'm soooo glad I did! There is no "luck"or magic sauce in this business. It takes learning skills, dedication and the DECISION to succeed, no matter what the masses say about you. I've been so blessed with an incredible mentor and hell of a team - that reinforces my decision to be successful. I've also read a lot of books and seen great documentaries that reaffirm network marketing truly is a better way. 

If you've ever found yourself even the slightest bit curious about joining a network marketing company, I encourage you to take a sip. Start with this video with one of my favorite authors, Eric Worre interviewing one of my favorite life coaches Tony Robbins on The Power Of Network Marketing.

And to those who are sipping away without raising your glass, let's CHEER together! I can't tell you how many times I'm in the middle of presenting my business to someone, and low and behold - they secretly own a network marketing business too! Doubt and confidence cannot coexist. OWN your decision. Stand up tall and be proud of the life-changing opportunity you hold. If you don't feel it in your heart, take some time to find your WHY. Your "why" will guide you to your "how", and the rest will surely follow. 

Say NO. You'll Feel Better.

I'm guilty of being a 'yes person.' It's in me to try and please everyone, even if it means inconveniencing myself. As of last year, I made a conscious decision to reduce my number of yes' no matter what the case may be. A lot of people don't want to be misunderstood as being rude or inconsiderate for saying "no"- but hear me now - you will get the short end of the stick if you say yes to everything and everyone. Own your voice and time, and limit your commitments to what you can actually handle. I have a co-worker who is very honest about her schedule and capacity. At first, it sounds a bit strange to hear someone say "no" nicely. She's great at it though! "I have a lot on my plate and I can't take on that project right now- do you mind working on it?"- Such an honest approach.

People Pleasers are often frazzled and never have time for themselves. Hmmm, wonder why? For all you avid networkers -do you really have to have coffee with every single person you meet? A lot of times, coffee means something different to each individual; what's really the next step here?  Unless the motive is clear and you know exactly where your valuable time is headed, don't feel bad to A) clarify the objective of the meeting before you set a date and time, and/or B) Say something like "I would prefer if we take 15 minutes to chat over the phone to identify how we can better assist each other, before we plan for next steps." Time is precious. If you spend most of it meeting other peoples needs, you'll ware yourself out and fast.

For those in start up mode- you don't have to say yes to every single opportunity; they are not all right for you. Take time to screen them carefully and decline those that are way over your head. Being honest will take you much farther than failing to meet your clients needs. Believe me, I've been there. When I first started my business, I wanted to establish my credibility fast- so I took any and every potential client that would come my way. Since I was the only one doing all the work, this called for many sleepless nights and a whole lot of stress. At the end of the day, my work varied from great to mediocre to sub par. Being a "jack of all trades, master of none" is not a good way to build the foundation of your business.
What else could you be doing with you precious time? How about strengthening your skills? What are your skills? I took the self assessment in Strengths Finder 2.0 recently- WOAH - what a great tool to put your strengths into perspective. Work on enhancing and maximizing your time on things that are going to make YOU better. Start by prioritizing your list of to-do's; if you do it honestly, you'll quickly see the items that need to go.

-Dais


Flying high over San Diego | 2012






Currently On Hiatus

Over the last 6-9 months, I've taken a huge step back on my go, go, go lifestyle. Ever since I was a college student, I always had 100 things to do, morning, noon and night. At one point I was working FT as an office manager, going to school FT, worked as a hostess PT, and took dance lessons- making virtually no time for me. I was in my late teens/early 20’s so I had energy to spare.

In 2009 I co-founded a marketing firm here in Chicago; my first time owning a business. You know they say owning a business is a lot of work? They lied. It’s ALL work. Every waking moment is work. You are always thinking of either your clients, ways to improve, ways to sell, problems to solve- I mean, its life consuming. I always envisioned myself owning my own business as a teen, so this- for me, was a dream come true. I didn’t mind doing the work or staying at the office until 10pm or 11pm sometimes. It was MY business, and I had to take care of it.

Networking for me and on behalf of my company made a huge difference in my career. I think it’s a tremendous skill to polish; if you don’t have time, make time! I started networking in college, thanks to Mr. Gramillano. While in business, I would often find myself networking 3 – 4 times a week at after-work events, luncheons, breakfast roundtables-  you name it. I networked far and wide with professionals in and out of my industry, local chambers and political figures. Aside from in-person networking, I would network heavily online too. I knew I was making an impact when people I had never met would approach me at an event or on the street and say “Hey! You’re Daisy, right? We’re friends on Facebook/LinkedIn/Twitter!” or "Hey! I saw you at the theater/restaurant/train..." While it was kinda cool, It became a little scary too… you never knew who was watching.

On top of networking, I was serving on committees, advisory boards, mentoring and volunteering - not because anyone made me, but because I genuinely wanted to be involved and give back to my community. Needless to say, all of this mingling wore me out cold.  I never had time to make myself a proper lunch or dinner, I always eating on the run. I didn't have time to workout- I would leave the house really early or get home too exhausted to lift a finger. Mentally, I thought I was on the right track, but truth be told, I was burning myself out and fast!

I had to take a step back and analyze my situation but most importantly, my health. I started my hiatus last August when I realized I was burning myself out for things I didn’t really believe in anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE marketing and the field I have chosen, but the pieces weren’t adding up. My inner voice tried to tell me several times but I was too busy trying to keep up with it all; I never took the time to listen. I was networking with the wrong crowd and working for the wrong clients. What I really wanted to do with my future career was not here; I would need to reinvent myself- but first- I needed to take care of myself. I needed my sanity back and I desperately needed to find a healthy work/life balance.

It took a giant disconnection for me to think clearly. And there is nothing wrong with that. I’m neither a quitter nor a failure- I am human. I am changing the way I was doing business for me :) To say the last 3 and a half years were good to me is an understatement. As crazy as they were, I met so many amazingly talented people and learned more than I could ever imagine. If I had to do it all over again, the changes I'd make would be minor. I am where I am today because of my successes and mistakes. I was definitely on the fast track to something big... but that (big) wasn't the right fit for me.

Life is far too valuable to waste on something you don’t enjoy doing. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission and say "It’s okay, stop and smell the roses. We'll revisit this later."

Celebrating my first year in business

 -Dais