I grew up in a traditional Mexican-American home in a nearby suburb of Chicago. My dad worked a grueling 6am - 4:30pm factory job, (sometimes 14 hours days) Monday - Saturday. My mom became a homemaker when my older sister was born; for several years she became a nanny to neighbors and family. My parents both migrated to the US in the mid-late 70's and met here, in IL. Coming from humble beginnings, both had very little to no education in Mexico and the language barrier was always present. My first language was Spanish; my mom knew my siblings and I would quickly learn English in school and by watching TV, so español is all we spoke in our home.
Our education was always a top priority. When I decided I was going to move to the city to pursue a degree in interior design, my mom and dad- reluctant to let me leave the house at 18, were 100% supportive of my decision. When my college career took a hard stop 2 years later, my parents were still by my side patiently waiting for my next move. I took a year off before I went back to college and two years after that, I received a BFA in Advertising Communications- my parents were at an all-time high. I was the first in my family to graduate, and although they didn't fully understand what I did at the time - they were my rock through it all. This is very non-traditional. Typically, children -especially daughters- don't leave the home until they are married. The fact that my parents (again, as reluctant as they were) decided to trust I was doing what was best for me is so taboo in our culture. 'Parents know best' - and while they want us to succeed and take advantage of all that is great in this country, most want us to do that at arm’s reach, in a field they understand and know will make us money. Other parents want us to make money now to help support the family. Sad, but true. I had a ex-boyfriend who almost flunked high school and I remember his father saying, "It's okay, I need an extra set of hands with me in construction, you'll make a lot of money now instead of waiting 4 years." (Did I meantion he was my EX?) Happens more often than not.
In my adolescence, moving away from home was one of the best decisions I've ever made. It was very bold of me, and it wasn't a smooth transition for my parents, especially for my mother- but it had to be done. The experience opened my eyes to so many things, but it also put a damper on my traditional way of thinking and doing. Naturally.
The first big traditional change I made was stop going to church. (Blasphemy! I know.) I was raised Roman Catholic. I mean, drenched in our community church. I was an usher for many years, and sang in the choir, followed all the big holidays, prayed every night and even lead the rosary in our home. We were there every Sunday without fail, and if for whatever reason we couldn't make it on Sunday, we would attend mass on Saturday night to make up for it. As I got older and started to ask questions about our religion that just did not make sense to me, I was quickly silenced and told "you should never question your religion/faith. It is a sin"- our priest told me that several times. And with tremendous guilt on my shoulders, I obeyed and eventually stopped questioning.
When I moved out, I thought 'great! Mom isn't here to make me go to church anymore!' So little by little, I stopped going. As I began to mature, I realized - that's not the way to think. I should WANT to go to church because I feel it in my heart, not because it's a task or chore... More time went by, and I started to realize, maybe Catholicism isn't the right religion for me- and truth be told, I still have not identified where I belong. I'm leaning towards Buddhism, but I'm not committed. Yet. The biggest obstacle here is how I was going to break this down to my family, especially my mother. My mom didn't read us children's books to put us to sleep at night, she read bible stories. And they day I decided to explain to her why I didn't attend church anymore, I knew I was in for it... But that's just it; we're so afraid to disappoint our parents- so many of us don't stand up for ourselves. But we must. I had that conversation with both my mother and father years ago and survived :) It's hard to explain: I have faith, I believe in a greater being, I know karma is real and I always strive to a better person every day to myself and others. Not going to church or labeling myself Catholic doesn't make me a bad person, it just means, I see things differently- and that's okay.
So what makes me a "modern Latina"? A lot of little things: I work in as a social media consultant. I am an artist; I paint on my spare time. I've started to practice meditation. I LOVE getting my passport stamped: Hong Kong, Kenya, Indonesia, Mexico...and I hope to get it stamped several dozen times in the years to come. I am a geek- I don’t read gossip or fashion mags like I used to. I love technology. I am a philanthropist. I live, eat and breathe all things marketing. I teach marketing classes to Latino entrepreneurs who’ve owned businesses longer than I’ve been alive. I've taught marketing classes in the most underprivileged parts of the world. I embrace all cultures and traditions. I love my own culture and traditions. I change with the times. I am open minded. And all of the aforementioned could not-would not have been possible if my traditional parents didn’t break their own traditions and just let me be. Bless their heart.
When I look to the future and think of what my kids will do and where they will be... I see them living life like me, only 100x’s better.
Isn't that the name of the game?
-Daisy De La Cruz Alejandre González Gutiérrez
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| My marketing class in Nyahururu, Kenya '11 |
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